PLAYLINK / Free Play Network

Your experience

This Discussion Forum was prompted, in part, by what I was hearing from too many frontline practitioners across provision: nurseries; adventure playgrounds; schools; out of school provision generally.

I meet about 200 or so direct service providers a year at workshops of one sort of another. I find that:

1. many practitioners feel they have been 'trained' to believe that they are not to cuddle or comfort children, though they themselves believe it is the right thing to do in a range of circumstances.

2. that if they are 'allowed' they have to adopt bizarre postures - re-engineered cuddles - in order to avoid... Well, I'm not quite sure what.

3. that various contortions are required to ensure that a child is not left alone with, or out of the sight of, another adult e.g. ensuring a door is open or some such. The logic of this alludes me - is it suggested that the word of two adults is worth one of a child?

4. that many feel that 'child protection' is a mistitle for much of this area. Much of so called 'good practice' has the appearnce at least of 'adult protection' by another name.

Whilst I appreciate there will be specific enquiries about process and practice, what I want to hear, and what this Discussion Forum seeks to provoke, is:

* your direct experience of this area designated 'child protection'

* how you respond to it

* whether it benefits you and, above all,

* does it benefit children?

* does it contribute to, or distort, their understanding of the world?

* does it help secure the warm empathy that should characterise the relationship between young people and reputedly caring adults?

Your views and experience are vital here.
Posted by: Benard Spiegal, Principal, PLAYLINK, 02 May 2007, 00:10

Two points occur to me from the comments above:
All the discussion about limits to physical contact has very little to do with the protection of children. An arm round the shoulder or a comforting cuddle cannot be considered or mistaken by a child for physical abuse. The issue is of course the protection of adults form accusation, or more accurately the protection of organisations from accusation of not doing enough to protect the children, and as in many things, for instance the design of playground equipment, they err on the side not of caution but of downright pedantry, and in doing so greatly devalue the service to the very client group they are attempting to help, the children. My suspicion (I would love to see evidence either way) is that, again as in the case of playgrounds, the perceived threat of litigation or pillory by media is actually minimal and thus the response is out of all proportion to the threat.

I am intrigued by the comment "Unethical relationships such as surrogate parent, or trying to be their friend", Certainly in my work with children over the years I have taken on both those roles with children who had a particular need at a particular time. Whilst not strictly being the role of a playworker facilitating children's play I feel that such emotional support is as important as a cuddle.
Posted by: chris snell, 02 May 2007, 00:10

I work as an outreach playworker, we (myself and sessional workers) go out to various sites and the local children have got to know me and recognise the project. I have built up a rapport and trust with these children, and occasionally they will come up to me and give me a hug when I arrive. I think it would be hurtful to any child for an adult not to respond to this, and to say to them not to do this as it's inappropriate. We are not teachers, we don't have to maintain that distance do we? I think this position could obviously be abused - but surely as playworkers we just need to be aware of this and cover our backs by having witnesses and good relationships with parents and communities?
Posted by: Beck McKay, Playworker, Herefordshire Nature Trust, 24 April 2007, 15:38

The needs of the child are paramount. We must learn to act with integrity, professionalism and have confidence in our own judgement in each situation and if this means holding a child's hand, giving a child a hug or having a child in crisis on your knee, then so be it.
Posted by: Gay Smith, Play Development Manager, Exeter City Council, 23 April 2007, 17:33

In reading the responses to this topic I find myself thinking along the lines of ...how come we need to have classes and training on how to respond to the needs of children. When or how is it that we have lost are inate ability to know how to behave and what to do. It is as though we dont have any history or evolutional process that has guided us as a species for millions of years.

I work with children with special needs (mainly social/emotional) I worked in a classroom with considerable violence and anger. In a two year period of time the center went through 7 teachers as the work was exptremely difficut. I managed to survive and enjoy and appreciate these young people because I followed my instints in caring for them, much of which was physical. The children knew that I valued them because no matter what they did I was huggabe and physically touchable and approachable. Even at the times that due to violence I had to restrain them, they responded with graditude that someone could help stop their bodies when they could not. I was and am very successful with dealing with this because I huggged and held and rocked another human being, just like caring homo sapians have done for centuries.
Had I been stopped from respondeing to these children from my heart I would have been the eighth teacher to abandon these children as nothing else worked. It is difficult to convince someone you care for them from accross the room or from an emotonally sterile "arm around the shoulder".
I am reffered to as the "pied piper" of children as where ever I go children seem to flock to me and I believe it is because I am reachable to them, I dont have a wall of adult anxiety that they need to mount to get their needs met.


Posted by: maureen matthews, teacher, MACFC, 20 April 2007, 11:08

It appears to me that we have created a
severly worped life experience for our children(and adults)
It is considered "best practice" to put 20 children in a room with two adults and espect that their needs will be met and they will be "safe". By safe I mean loved and well cared for.
The vary nature of the situation puts the childs life experience in parrel. It is immposible to meet the needs of 2o young children by two adutls. Right from the start, just with this one issue is the whole situation distored and corrupt. If even it were "ok" to show the children the amount of affection they need on a biological level, (we are genetically inspired to require physical affection, babies denied this contact will not develope normally)

And then to say that you are keeping children "safe" or providing "quality" care just does not mesh with the reality that you can not share enouph of yourself with so many children enouph for them to know on a deep level that they are special, important, meaningful and loved, which is the right of all children.

I dont believe a day goes by that I dont look around me and question the sanity of a culture that would place its most precious life gift in "care" centers and believe that we are "protecting" children.
Posted by: maureen matthews, teacher, MACFC, 20 April 2007, 00:54

Child protection and behavioural awareness training plays a big part in working closely with young people on intense programs. Youth workers must be aware of the power they weald with impressionable young people who come from unstable environments. Unethical relationships such as surrogate parent, or trying to be their friend oversteps the boundaries of moral responsibility as a person in a position of trust and role model. However, there is an area that does concern me when dealing with young people and that is, the fear to use an arm around the shoulder when a child or young person is in obvious distress. One example of this is when a group of 13 -14 year olds went caving and one of them became extremely distressed and frightened. It is at times like this that a comforting adult arm, such as a parent would give if they were there, can make the difference between just dealing with an individual or the whole group. Maybe I think like this because I am a parent, and would not like to think of my own children being in this position. To further support the argument effective training in child protections issues allows youth workers to have the confidence to recognise what is appropriate behaviour, and what is not. After all, are we not there to assist these young peoples life skills and to teach compassion and empathy for others in a time of need.
Posted by: Martin Powell, Headof Community Safety and Education Southend & Rochford Command, Essex Fire & Rescue Service, 20 April 2007, 00:44

Having recently carried out research in this area I have spoken to many professionals who have expressed regret about not touching children in ways they consider to be perfectly proper and necessary. I would urge professionals to challenge the training that attempts to impede this process. It seems that many of us individually express regret but that collectively we express fear 'you've got to protect yourself'. Perhaps a movement away from accepting what we know to be wrong is well overdue.
Posted by: Heather Piper, senior research fellow, 19 April 2007, 15:23

I feel that child protection in this day and age is more centered around protecting the adult from being accused of 'inapropriate behaviour' It is very sad for the child who really needs a cuddle and receives a very careful 'arm around the shoulder' - which in real terms as you say is 'an engineered posture'

I feel that the child's emotional well being and the need for comfort has been forgotten. A child will know that an arm round the shoulder is not real comfort, the problem is, will they come to you again if they are upset knowing the response they received from you previously? How is that then helping/comforting the child and encouraging them to approach/disclose to you when it may appear to the child that you don't care?
It is sad to say but I wouldn't hesitate to cuddle my daughter if she needed it but I have been programmed to be aware of how to comfort children at work.
I am well aware that children are missing out on 'real & meaningful' comfort due to fear of accusation. Essentially, our role as friendly, caring, empathic playworkers may be fading in the eyes of the child. This is my worst fear.
Posted by: Jackie Jones, Principal Playworker, Nechells Playcentre, 19 April 2007, 13:21